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Kathryn [entries|friends|calendar]

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My weekend [03 Apr 2005|11:47pm]
[ mood | impressed ]

Well it went pretty good saw sam friday night he came out after missie left . Stayed with me then spent time with me saturday night we always have fun. Things have been so crazy. Im finally starting my life now . I went to church today too i was rather proud of that LOL . We stayed up late last night talking. . The guy from church came today and pretty much told me very bluntly that if it didnt work with sam he wanted to date me im like woah i was never popular nor would anyman come around me now suddenly they are whats diffrent here something i will be asking my therapist . I noticed im not in such a crudy more lately either. Maybe this is a good thing i dont know i do know that im starting to finally be happy after all these yrs its about time.
But thats pretty much my span for the weekend was rather nice . First time in a while ..

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Proud [03 Apr 2005|10:44pm]
[ mood | bouncy ]

I have to brag i went from a xxl or size 20 in pants down to an xl i cant believe it . Now i just have to loose this fat tummy and we will be good to go will happen in time though .. I also got a great deal on pants this weekend two pairs for 6 bucks i was really impressed i never buy clothes but couldnt resist

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Pics of my freinds dog [03 Apr 2005|08:59pm]
[ mood | calm ]

Free Image Hosting at

Free Image Hosting at

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Picture of Sam [03 Apr 2005|08:57pm]
[ mood | bouncy ]

Haha everyone has been on me to see a pic of the guy im seeing here it is . LOL

Free Image Hosting at

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babysitting [01 Apr 2005|03:45pm]
[ mood | bouncy ]

Im on my way out to baysit a freinds kids

I will be back on sunday i will miss you all muah


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Im gonna be an auntie to a baby boy !!!!!!!!! [01 Apr 2005|07:32am]
[ mood | shocked ]

alot of you remember me mentioning about my sis being preg she went to the doctor monday baby is fine she is fine everything is great her cervix is doing great shes having another boy. Shes naming him william shawn and calling him billy pray this one makes it please she lost her first son from a premature birth last may he died 3 days after he was born i just want her to have a happy healthy baby this time . I will keep posted on any info i get and how she does. im excited but also reserved till we get past 28 weeks then i know we are okay the doctor told her everything looked really good and she has a good chance of delivering this one . Its in god hands now. Its really weird her first was aboy she was due in sept with the first this one shes due in august tell me thats not spooky .

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bad news [01 Apr 2005|07:29am]
[ mood | scared ]

Mom has to have surgery in a few days on her back she has a herniated disk among other things they have to remove a peice of bone from her spine and fuse her back together with screws the recover time is 4-6 months she has to go through physical therapy as well as pretty much learn how to walk again . There is a high chance she may be come parylized from this please keep her and my fam in your prayers . Shes scared as we all are its hard to stay postive they inserted an epidural in her yesterday for pain relief it seems to be working shes doing okay . I told her she needs to do exactly as they tell her to so that she heals . Ugh its gonna be a long next few weeks.

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Therapy Today [30 Mar 2005|11:09pm]
[ mood | content ]

Well i went to therapy need less to say was a weird visit .

We started off by paul my therapist asking me what i wanted to work on today i told him my panic and not being able to find anything so he says okay .

We start talking about what happens when i go into a panic how i get so mad and throw things and so on

he then instructs me to close my eyes And slowly breath in and out 5 times so i did he then asked me to go back to that place that cuases the panic so i did . He asked me how i felt i said calm but a since of dread .
Then he instructs me to open my eyes and look around the room as if i had never seen the wall before so i did.

At this point im think what is he getting at . As im sure everyone here is as well.

Well then he instructs me to close my eyes again and breath slowly 5 more times so i did . He this time instructed me to go into that feel of anger and dread what did i see i told him fear my ex he asked me to touch the anger my jaw tightened my arms I started getting more and more tense i could feel it movig up my neck . He think asks me what i was seeing i told him my ex its a feear of being hurt he thne asks me how i felt as i was coming out of it i said clm but since of a little relief. He said im haivng a fight with my inner self

I had security while living with my parents now that that is gone Im constant battle with myself. He said that is why i wont get close to anyone or let anyone get close to me he said its an issue of im comfortable with the pain thats why its there.

He did instruct me to then think about an ice cube so i did . He said what do you feel as it is melting in your hand burning he said you have a refrgerator full i bet tthey are falling out little by little i said yes . He said where ever you are what ever you are doing and this rage comes on stop and go with it . Dont hold it back he said thats been the problem i supressed it for so long now that im getting close to a guy its coming out .

He said my body says go forward my mind says no dont.
i can tell you as it was a weird experience but definatly touched on something i hadnt before almost as if i was hypnotized i was tired during the whole thing and each tiem i closed my eyes as he instructed it was like seeing a slide show in slow motion of past issues i walked out of there saying WOAH

i can tell you i am rpoud of myself though

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Omg Im freaked out [30 Mar 2005|04:58pm]
[ mood | pissed off ]

I just got a strange phone call

I answered to phone it was a private caller

They said there name was jenny

That they had talked to me last week that i gave them my number i havent been to the store this week or last let alone gave anyone my number

I dont know who is doing this but it needs to stop

They asked me if i had insulation in my house i said yes they said well you should try it

Then thats when i hung up on them my number is unlisted

my ex best friend a few select others have my number thats it its not even listed on line grrr

I dont know what to do ...

Im sick of being messed with

come to find out it was a freind doing it she says she was bored its not funny im so through with this crap

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[29 Mar 2005|07:06pm]
better icons by poop900
your icon is
Quiz created with MemeGen!
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[29 Mar 2005|07:04pm]
Icons about everything!! (good icons too!!) by truelove
Word that best describes you
Icon that describes you
Icon that describes your life
Icon that reminds you of someone you love
Icon that reminds you of someone you hate
The one you will marry
The one you want to marry
Quiz created with MemeGen!
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[29 Mar 2005|06:59pm]
Tons Of Icons! by xInvisableToYoux
Your Icon:
Quiz created with MemeGen!
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Weird [29 Mar 2005|06:48pm]
You scored as Bear. You are the bear. You have a great strength in your limbs as well as in your heart. You enjoy being playful more than anything and love life.






























Which animal totem best suits you?
created with
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New Pics of Me [29 Mar 2005|06:42pm]
[ mood | creative ]

Free Image Hosting at

Free Image Hosting at

Free Image Hosting at

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[28 Mar 2005|06:31pm]
You scored as None!. You've either done a good job of avoiding drugs, aren't interested in trying them, or have had an experience that chased you away. Stay safe. :)
















What's your ideal drug?
created with
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[28 Mar 2005|06:29pm]
[ mood | creative ]

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My head is killing me [27 Mar 2005|12:25pm]
[ mood | sick ]

God i have a massive migraine started last night and its kicking my ass my neck feels like ive been beat. I took my pain pills a few hours ago they arent working . Im getting tired of them theres nothing i can do about them other then suffer really.

I just want to lay down and cry.

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Happy Easter [26 Mar 2005|11:38am]
[ mood | bitchy ]

Just wanted to wish everyone a happy and safe easter

Mine has turned into a shitty one

My previous post explains more .

I need to go and get in bed im tired and angry before i do something stupid she has me so mad i could strangle her

GRRR do i have a sign on my head that says stupid ass magnet apperently i do

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OMG IM SO FUCKING ANGRY [26 Mar 2005|11:32am]
[ mood | angry ]

My night last night was pretty good

I get home thinking id have a message on my phone about what time im leaving today i spent the night at a freinds and didnt get home till 830 this morning im so fucking angry . I go to check my email and have a message from her . whats ironic is i talked to her yesterday evening before they went to take there oldest to gymnastics and they were all fine so from 5 pm to ten he comes down with the flu bullshit .
She went out and bought them easter dresses . My mom seems to think she came up here. I think she did . Someone isnt gonna dress there kids in nice dresses to sit around in the house right right.

this was her email to me its below before i post it i percieve it as shes making excuses and never had any intentions of coming but what do you all think please be honest . thanks

Hey girl

I got your messages I hope you had fun tonight J And now I am about to ruin a good mood.

I don’t know a better way to put this with out upsetting you so I well just say it. John has come down with the flu

He is Very sick throwing up and running a high fever!!. I know what your thinking I am back to my old ways again making up excuses. And I cant make you or anyone else believe me when I tell you he is very sick. And he doesn’t feel like driving to come up there. And I would just come get you myself but I would have to bring both the girls. And he feels really bad he started feeling sick today And he kept telling me not to worry he was still coming And then last min tonight hes feeling worse and he says to tell you he feels really bad!! But he just cant make the drive. And he told me to tell you that we will set up plans for next week maybe. I am going to postpone my sugry for now. I am so sorry we both feel so upset about the hole thing. And I know you probley HATE me right now And are upset And I can understand but I cant do anything about it. And I know now that your mom will probley hate me again but so be it I cant change what I have done in the past And I am trying to make up for it. Now this happens And I cant come get you tomorrow. You have no Idea how much this hurts me to tell you we cant come up. I was looking forward to seeing you again!!!! I really truly was!!! And John was too we all were!!! But alls not lost John said he should be feeling much better by next weekend and he can come up then If that’s ok. I am so sorry!! I really am. If there is anything I can do let me know. Call me tomorrow if you still want to talk or just email me if you are too upset to talk to me right now And I promise I am not turning back into a mean monster Bitch!! I don’t want to loose you again !!! Tell your mom I hope she wont hate me for this either. Hope you will talk to me again soon Jennifer Love YA

I also should not this isnt the first time she lied either .

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Yayyyy Im gonna go play [25 Mar 2005|06:26pm]
[ mood | excited ]

Haha im gonna go hang out with some freinds tonight i cant wait

I leave tomm for three weeks yayyyyyy

Not much going on here today pretty much done packing just have to pack my meds and im ready .

Well i should go get in the shower and get ready to go

Ill post when i get home to let you all know how it went with me and sam ..


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